I will admit it. I have a trust problem.
Not because I do not believe others, but BECAUSE I DO NOT BELIEVE IN MYSELF. I have always had very low self-confidence and it has made making and keeping friends and relationships very difficult because I didn’t know why anyone would want to spend time with me. Why me??
When it came to my career I was bound and determined to ensure that I was not going to let my self-confidence get in the way of what I am truly capable of. I did. I still do. But I am growing… and learning to trust myself more every day.
When someone would approach me with an amazing opportunity, I always wondered if it was a scam or if by chance they reached out to the wrong person. Don’t get me wrong - I am a really freaking hard worker but my self-confidence would get in my head. I AM LITERALLY THE PERSON WHO WILL TALK YOU OUT OF GIVING ME A PROMOTION. “Are you sure I am ready for this? Are you sure that I can do this?” “I see Karen has been doing some pretty incredible work, she might really enjoy this, and she is better equipped to handle the challenge”.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? Are you crazy? You have been dreaming about this and you are passing up the opportunity because what…you are scared? You are not sure of yourself? Oh, Amanda. You sweet, innocent, naïve little girl. Put on your big girl pants and shake it off sweet girl.
It has taken me a long time, a lot of self-empowerment books and ongoing conversations with myself and others to realize that I can do big things and not just big things but massively huge and enormous things if I don’t get in my own way. I am my own biggest obstacle.
When I was younger, I would be offered opportunities and I would turn them down because I didn’t feel ready to take them on. Let me say that again. I did not FEEL ready to take them on. I didn’t want to make mistakes or mess anything up. Was I qualified? Hell yes! But my brain tricked me into believing that I was not capable because getting started felt overwhelming and scary. Looking back, it was among the dumbest things I have ever done. I should have accepted every opportunity. Even the scary ones. Especially the scary ones.
I had a strategist that I worked with at one of the ad agencies I was at that thought I was a “Rockstar” (her words not mine). I admired her. Every bone in my body thought she was the smartest and most intelligent person I had ever known. I am still to this day impressed by the work she did and her attitude. I soaked up every word she said and tried to get in as many minutes with her as humanly possible. Then she left the company. She took a job in Chicago, and I was so upset. I reached out to her and asked if she could give me advice and by the end of our conversation, she was offering to give my name to her new boss who was willing to bring me in for an interview to work on her team. It would have meant moving away from my family, so I mulled it over and turned it down. What could have been the best career move of my entire life. I turned it down because I was afraid to move. I didn’t have kids or a house or anything holding me back and I turned it down. I will always regret it.
When my son gets older, I will ensure that he knows that my expectation is that he explores every opportunity presented to him. If he gets a call from the MLB and must move miles away, he better at least give it a shot. If he gets a call from the Columbus Zoo and they want him to do an internship, he better at least give it a shot. Do I want him out of my house? Heck no, I want to smother him every minute of every day but, I never ever want him to look back at his life and feel like he lost his shot because of me or because he didn’t believe in himself.
If someone brings up an opportunity and it feels right, chances are it probably is. Trust your gut and go for it. I will be honest with you. If it is something new, be prepared to make mistakes - that is okay! That is called learning. Embrace it. Embrace every opportunity.
This is my advice to you. Every opportunity comes to you for a reason. Assuming you have time and can dedicate yourself, you should give every opportunity a fighting chance.
You only get one chance; you only get one life. Chances are, that if you don’t take all the chances you get, you will never find out who you were truly meant to be. Trust that this universe will bring you the opportunities you need to get you where you are supposed to go and follow them. Listen to the clues. Listen to others. Listen to your heart. Trust yourself. Bet on yourself every chance you get.